Goodbyes

Goodbyes suck.  There.  I've said it.  When you grow up on a farm, there are a lot of goodbyes.  Especially with barn cats.  There were always many kitties on our farm.  Many were dumped along the highway and found their way into our barn.  There they were cared for as best as we could.  But the life of a barn cat is hard.  Most don't survive more than a couple years.  But, at least they had a chance.  We had one cat, though, who was very smart.  She lived to be something like 12 years old, I think.  She was a terrible mother cat.  Just awful.  She would take her kittens out into the field and leave them.  More than once, my Mom and I were out there looking for lost kittens.  Her other trick was to eat them.  Sick, right?  Well, she had one kitten that lived.  She was a darling little black kitten and looked just like her mama, only Patches (the mama) was black and white and Trina was all black.  Trina also had only 3 toes on her right front foot.  Hence the name.....Trina......tri...three.  Trina was very smart.  When we fed the cats, we would take all our table scraps and put them in a pan, then top it off with cat food and water.  When we got to the barn (with a load of kitties running alongside us) we would dump the food into several dishes.  All the cats would go running for that first dish.  Except Trina.  She would wait for the last dish.  That's where the meat was!  Then she'd run in between the other kitties' legs, grab the biggest chunk of meat she could and run like crazy.  Smart girl!  When Trina was 2, my best buddy Teddy died.  I promised her she would get to move into the house.  But, then Monique came along with her habit of sleeping in the fields.  Not good when there are coyotes roaming about.  So, in she came and Trina waited another year.  Another year in the freezing cold barn.  Another year in the hot, smelly barn.  She waited.  Then.....in she came!  She was so happy!  We had her declawed because she kneaded her claws so much that it was seriously painful to hold her.  She purred when the vet took her bandages off.  In fact, Trina (or Miss Bea to those of us close to her) purred throughout her life.  She was always there, looking for some loves.  Everyone who visited our house met Miss Bea.  She rolled on everyone's lap

. 
This past weekend, she had a very rough time.  Her tongue was very sore and she was bleeding a lot.  She had Squamous Cell Carcinoma on her tongue and it is very aggressive and there is really nothing they can do.  So, on Sunday I decided that Monday would be our last day.  I was sick over it.  I shed many tears.  On Monday, however, Miss Bea (short for Trinie Beanie) was up and playing and eating up a storm.  When my Mom arrived, we decided that this was not her time.  She was not ready.  The euphoria I felt was sooooo awesome!  But, Tuesday was another story.  Her mouth was bleeding, again.  A lot.  On Wednesday, she was feeling better, but unable to eat.  Today I knew it was time.  We spent our last day together laying on the couch, having tea parties with Joy and brushing Trina's fur.  She loved to be brushed.  She followed me everywhere I went today.  At 6:10 it was time to say goodbye.  I held her and she left to have supper in Heaven with Jesus.  She was ready.  It was time. 

So, tonight......many, many tears.  Lots of hugs from my Joy.  And another little angel, waiting for me in Heaven.  I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see all my friends again.  Goodbyes suck, but the reunion will be amazing!  I am in for some major loving when it's my turn!  So, again, another prayer or 2, if you have a second.  This sucks and I hate it.  I'm glad she's safe now.  No more sore mouth.  No more empty tummy.  And I will have to wait for more Beanie nudges.